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15 March 2009 @ 10:04 am
Yay Birthday!
Current Mood: amusedamused
18 February 2009 @ 12:09 am
So as some of you may recall, I recently went to the Hospital with partial blindness in my right eye.

Well all is well with my eye, I can see fine now and it seems to have returned to its pre-blindness level of sight, no residual damage. So I'm relived. But I'm not relived as the bills have finally arrived.

So note. I have -no job- and -no insurance-

Total bill: 8560.02$

fucking hell.
Current Mood: sadsad
25 January 2009 @ 09:30 pm
Janaury 24 at around 6:40am my bird suddenly died.

I don't know why, I don't know how but he died. I loved him so much and he died.
I miss my bird so much, he was suppose to be my companion through life, he was suppose
to live to be 45. He was the best bird ever, and I'll miss him so so much.

Tomorrow morning is going to be so hard.. so quiet. I miss him so much.

Also I'm going blind in my right eye. After a serious of migraines I developed a large blind spot
in my right eye, which is slowly progressing, getting larger and larger. I can no longer see things
in the far right of my eye, the center of my vision is dulling out as the spot is expanding farther and farther towards center.

I don't know what to do.. My folks believe its because I've been spending too much time in front of the PC and can't afford to take me to the doctors.

My companion died.. and fear I'm losing my vision, why is life giving me such crap?
Current Location: home
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: scilence
25 December 2008 @ 05:18 pm

As some of you might be aware, today is Christmas day and what but 1 of you do know is for once in the past 10 years I actually care. For the first time in a long time Christmas has not just been a material day that I hide from, but a day to spend time with those close to you. And I believe I did that well. I Had an amazing Christmas eve with someone very close to me, though got violently ill after all that greeeasy food :P And I spent a nice Christmas day with my close family, grandpa and drunk uncle. Though I must say, he was very well behaved and quite pleasant.

Well presents abound! I have 2 new pairs of pants, a new flannel shirt and an electric razor. As well as 75$ combined from my uncle, grandfather, and ex-step father (which really surprised me) a free piercing gift certificate, a free tattoo gift certificate, a VIP gift card (yes the smut store) and a vanilla visa prepaid 'cash' card (allowing me to buy something on the internet) My family has never been wealthy, opulent or well off. We are poor and it shows this Christmas, it was a sparse one so much so that my mom was actually upset that she couldn't afforded to give more. But I don't mind, I'm for the most part with out want, and really had a good holiday.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday, (well except my ex, I wish he was miserable :P but oh well.) or at least a safe one.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: amusedamused
01 December 2008 @ 05:20 pm
I'm just writing about nothing now, simply for the sake of writing. Boredom has alot to do with it.

Its December now. I don't like December, the weather is cold, plants are dead and it ....snows. And worse our house doesn't have any real insulation, so winter is sneaking in with us. And I mean No Insulation, the attic is bare, you can see through to the bottom of the sheathing, and above that are the shingles! Theres no insulation in the walls either and all the windows are from the 1950s and seal poorly. Let me tell you, it gets fucking cold in this house at night and doesn't really heat up during the day. What makes it worse is we are pooor and can't run the damn heat. It should also be noted at this point that our furnace is gas and 25+ years old, inefficient, dirty and wasteful. Cold skunk is cold.

I got 2 new piercings in the past 2 days. Last night I got stupid/bored/adventurous, choose what you think fits, and I pierced my own sac. Yep, I did. I took a sewing needle and some preoxid, a barbell stud I had and descended onto my flesh. It took me a damn half-hour to do it >_< It huuurrt. But I think it was worth it. Today I got my right nipple professionally done. 35$ it hurt worse me piercing my self. But it too was worth it :3 I am happpy with it and when I get the money plan on getting the other nipple done.

I'm broke again -_- I got one Christmas present bought. So my moms off the list, but I still have Julie, my sister, my papa (grandfather) and a Close friend of mine. :/ Goddamnit. I need moneys! I still cant find a job. Erf! I don't know what else to do.

I don't have anything interesting to relate to todays history. Sorry.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: Relay - The Who
30 November 2008 @ 02:16 pm
Nothing eventful going on with me. Most of you can stop reading here, I simply plan on rambling for the rest of my post.

Nothing is going on today, nothing. Nothing goes on day in and day out. I was rejected from the Gas station, thats I don't know how many places I have applied to and been rejected from. I have no legitimate job experience, and because of the poor economy I continue to get passed over for the jobless people with experience, no one wants to waist the time to train me. Lets count the ways. I've been rejected from: Stop and shop, shaus, Macdonald's, burger King, Friendlys, Homedepo, lowes, sears, hottopic, spencers, circuit city, best buy, Foodbag (gas station), lindent Chocolates, wallgreens, riteade, subway, gamespot, games workshop, pretzel time, wetzles pretzels, Newbury Comics, and brookstone. :/ But I continue to do under the table crap jobs for my miser landlord and our family friends, so I'm making a little money.

The Christmas holiday season is coming up. I hate it, it makes me sad. Christmas has never been the same since my grandmother died in 1997. She could make the holiday come alive! Materialism was non-existent! It was about being happy, being close to people, giving and caring. Now it means nothing to me. All it is is a marking scam for big corporations to squeeze money out of people. It makes me sad aswell, I want to give and cannot and yet receive from my family who cannot afford to give. I wish I could give to people, to my family and to the few people I care about, I wish I could make them happy with something special. This year I am going to try. I also wish my people would stop spending money on me. Its not that I'm not appreciative, but I strongly believe it can be better spent, I'm not the most worthy of topics.

Oh yeah, also relevant, I wish my family would stop pushing Christianity on me, its not hardcore Christianity, but it is Christianity none the less. Well I don't believe that you were the son of 'God' Jesus. And I don't believe in Christianity, of all the mainstream religions, it has to be the most condescending and hypocritical. Its hard enough for me to grasp the idea of religion or of supernatural beings. But I'm trying, for someone close.

Oh hey, 3-4 days a go my street and the surrounding area was locked down. A drunk mental out patent off his meds had gotten his hands on a gun, and was in a standoff with police. So our house was locked and loaded. My mother with one shotgun loaded with 3 shells, and me with my SKS loaded with 10 rounds of 7.62x39. If anyone was forcing there way in, they would be leaving in a body bag. Needless to say, we were safe, but worried.

I haven't eaten much in a few days, and I'm not sure as to why. I didn't eat much on thanksgiving, I have passed dinner twice since, hell, I had "worked" (labored is a better term) all day yesterday, no breakfast, no lunch, and has 2 pieces of pizza for dinner, and this morning, I'm still not hungry, no breakfast, no lunch, I think I might pass dinner. I'm mildly worried.

Anyways now for something fun. Its Mark Twains Birthday!! Happy 173ed Mark Twain! What a great author.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: pessimisticpessimistic
Current Music: Overture - The Who
23 November 2008 @ 09:37 pm
Today in history. Romania Joins Axis in WWII

On this day in 1940, Romania signs the Tripartite Pact, officially allying itself with Germany, Italy, and Japan.

As early as 1937, Romania had come under control of a fascist government that bore great resemblance to that of Germany's, including similar anti-Jewish laws. Romania's king, Carol II, dissolved the government a year later because of a failing economy and installed Romania's Orthodox Patriarch as prime minister. But the Patriarch's death and peasant uprising provoked renewed agitation by the fascist Iron Guard paramilitary organization, which sought to impose order. In June 1940, the Soviet Union co-opted two Romanian provinces, and the king searched for an ally to help protect it and appease the far right within its own borders. So on July 5, 1940, Romania allied itself with Nazi Germany-only to be invaded by its "ally" as part of Hitler's strategy to create one huge eastern front against the Soviet Union.
King Carol abdicated on September 6, 1940, leaving the country in the control of fascist Prime Minister Ion Antonescu and the Iron Guard. Signing the Tripartite Pact was now inevitable. Originally formulated in Berlin on September 27, the pact formally recognized an alliance between Germany, Italy, and Japan, termed the "Axis." As more European nations became subject to fascist domination and invasion, they too were drawn into the pact, albeit as unequal partners (Hungary was made an Axis "power" on November 20). Now it was Romania's turn.
While Romania would recapture the territory lost to the Soviet Union when the Germans invaded Russia, it would also have to endure the Germans' raping its resources as part of the Nazi war effort. Besides taking control of Romania's oil wells and installations, Hitler would help himself to Romania's food crops, causing a food shortage for native Romanians.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: amusedamused
02 November 2008 @ 04:23 pm
My mother told me that I have 2 weeks to find a job.

At the end of those 2 weeks if I have no job I will be throw out of the house..

Apparently my mother has not seen the job market, I *Can't* Find a job.

I've been looking for a while, no luck.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
29 October 2008 @ 04:10 pm
Well I have officially been invaded by the British kind, and no, not that kind of "invaded" you sick shit. I went, I saw, I was blown away by.. The Who! They were.. Old, unenergetic, and rather laid back on stage, But WOW. They blew me away music wise! Its good to know they can still play the way they did on my old records. And what a Line up! 19 songs total! not counting the opening act.

The concert started with some crap opening act called "inverse eye" which really.. was shit. But then the lights went black, and a half hour later The Who just started playing, no intro or anything. They started with "Can't Explain" then went right into "The Seeker" which were outstanding. Then introduced them selves, then they made fun of myspace and face book and rambled on about something in there wonderful British accent. Before making fun of the internet and then playing A song called "Receiver" and then a Song called "Breath in Breath out" neither have I heard before, both very good, I [i]think[/i] they were off the new 'Live Wire' album. Anywho (no pun intended) they then went onto playing "Who are you" and "Behind Blue Eyes" Great! Then they played a song "Good Looking Boy" a tribute to Elvis. Meh. Then they played "Sister Disco" which was alright, during which the person in front of me puked his brains out and collapsed and had to be carried out by security. Then, wow, they played "Baba O'rile" Which was simply amazing. Lets see, after that they played "Getting in tune" and "Eminence front" Which were alright, not really up there on my list of faves. Then they played "5:15 and "Reign or' Me" which were great. Then "My Generation-extended version" started good, dragged rump. But then they played "Wont get fooled again" Wow! We claped for 15 minuted and they hopped off stage. But THEN they came back on stage and played the Tommy version of "Pinball Wizard' with "Amazing Journy/Sparks" tacked on to the end of it! OH..My.. God! Outstanding! The last song they played was just Pete and Roger, called "Cup of Tea" which was about the two of them growing old.

In the end, just..Amazing! I am sooo Happpy that I got to see The Who live before they all die off. Just Freaking amazing. I have never been so excited for something as I was then.

But my British invasion didn't end there. I then watched several Main time British TV shows from BBC America. I watched several recorded programs of "Dr Who" and a neet show called "Skins" which ammusingly enough was subtitled at parts when the British Accent got faaar to outragous for me to understand!

So In all, What a great past few days. Though the next few days are really.. really going to suck.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: chipperchipper
22 October 2008 @ 01:57 am
Man, I'm miserable again.

I have nothing going for me, still.

I Can't find work, my mom is pissed off at me because I don't have work.

Also pissed off because she needs my paycheck, were financially devastated. Hell we could be evicted..

I don't have a mate, I still don't have any local friends. I'm socially becoming more and more hostile towards people, distancing my self from my family and now I'm starting to avoid people online.

My folks basically held an intervention for me yesterday. Not because I'm addicted to something, but because I spend 95% of my time locked up in my room. Yes, I rarely leave my room, I don't help out around the house, and really I don't try to do anything. I've convinced my self that no one gives a damn about me. I've convinced my self that no one will ever love me again. I've convinced my self that I am useless. I don't want to hear else wise, cause I won't believe it. And as thus I don't care about shit.

I really don't care about anything.

I kinda wish I had gone to furfright.. to a point, it probably would have done me good to get out of the house. But I couldn't, as I don't have any fucking money. So as normal life has fucked me over again.

Everything is shit. There is nothing that I am happy about at all. Even what I thought to be small joys in my life become shit as I realize how pointless/[poorly done or just stupid they are.

I don't have the will to do anything to change all this either.. thats the kicker. I'm miserable but I don't care enough to change it..

Hell, this post it self is pointless.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: depresseddepressed